Decolonizing My Faith pt. 3; 2 Chronicles 7:14

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." New International Version

I'm sitting a socially distanced, sanitized cafe in Omaha, eating a cinnamon roll, drinking a maple cardamom coffee. It's slightly rainy out, just enough to not be able to see the sky, and see little splashes of water fly off the tires of the cars that pass this big window to my right. When I saw this was the verse for today (through the Bible app), I was rather disappointed. Not because of any strong feelings against this verse, or any pain I might consciously or subconsciously be feeling; but because I feel really at peace right now and my initial, colonized interpretation of this verse. I haven't had a need to go do work at a coffee shop, eat a cinnamon roll or drink a maple cardamom coffee in a long time and this feels good. I don't want to hear that I need to make myself smaller, I need to stop being wicked and that I'm a sinner. Does anyone really want to receive this message? I suppose not, but if you think I'm going to be talking about how 'that's why I need it, so that I can stop feeling happy and be reminding of my own perpetual sin, then you would be wrong. God wants me to be happy and enjoy myself. However, this message today is much bigger than my individual self.

Something I'm learning while decolonizing my faith along with my mind, is that white supremacy and colonized thinking, tend to think in individual terms. God saved 'me' This message is for 'me' 'I need to be in touch with what is being said.' While these are all true statements, it connects me little to the world around me. My initial interpretation of this was 'humble yourself; even though you are feeling good for the first time in a while.' And I don't think that's what a decolonized God is trying to tell me. Though we are all wicked and sinners, we are also delighted in the eyes of God. We are Her children and She looks at us the way you look at a child when they have spaghetti all over their face. God doesn't' see the mess She needs to clean up later, she see's the innocence and the joy in eating a food without worrying about the calories or the how unhealthy it might be. So I ruled out the idea that God is telling me to change something about my current state or state of mind. What else, in thinking about humanity as a whole, is this passage trying to say?

I think what this passage is trying to say is look how loving God is, to see all the damage I see today and still say I choose to love you and welcome you to heaven. I am not that loving. Every time I look at the news I want to scream and curse a different member (or sometimes the same) of our current government. I can't stand to see the outright racism, terrorism, and sin that this country is experiencing currently, something we've never overcome since the colonization of the people indigenous to this land. I want to damn every Trump supporter, every alt-right oppressor in this country and beyond. I cannot picture looking one of these people in the eyes and saying 'Welcome to heaven' 'I love you.' However, God is able to do this. God's capacity is larger than mine. Now, do not hear me say that we need to just excuse racism because God loves these people regardless. There are some things that God is capable of that I am not. And to try to do so would be a disservice to the people suffering because of the ignorant.

In my mind I know waiting at the gates of heaven is a welcome sign to all those on earth, regardless of the sin and hurt they caused on earth. The people currently 'called in God's name' have caused great harm to this world. Christians, you have caused great harm in this world and to this world. In 2020 alone, police have killed over 200 black people. Over 800 people have died trying to enter this country, close to 30 trans individuals have died simply for being transgender. Many of these hate crimes, if not all, are acted on by those 'called in God's name.' In this passage, God is calling on these people pursuing hate and tragedy to humble themselves and repent for way these people have suffered. Not only this, but the violence caused against our earth is also a tragedy. It is nothing but our duty and obligation to care for this environment, and we have absolutely failed to do so.

These blog posts are my way to see my white skin and all the privilege that carries to humble myself and reshape the way I was taught to use that privilege. I will no longer live a life of sinning against my neighbor, or damaging this beautiful earth. I had a very hard time with the Bible and with my faith because I felt Christians were hurtful and filled with hate. I am teaching myself that BECAUSE I am a Christian it is my duty to reject this perspective and know that many of the things being said in the Bible needs to be understood in larger terms than just my individual self. I repent and I long for you do this work with me. God promises us love and everlasting life after death, but we can't take that for granted. We can no longer be silent and complacent in the world today, because Jesus wasn't.